Honoring all journeys, including those without a clear path

Unmasking is a powerful step toward greater well-being as a neurodivergent person. Many do not have the privilege to get a diagnosis, find support, or unmask safely. Barriers often extend beyond neurodivergence to systemic racism, cultural stigma, poverty, and erasure.

Intersectionality helps explain how different parts of your identity, like race, gender, class, or disability, overlap and shape your experiences, especially within systems not designed to support you.

I honor the complexity of unmasking when multiple identities overlap. You are creating space for authenticity in systems that often silence it. Whether you’re beginning to unmask, waiting for recognition, or defining safety in an unsafe world, your experience matters.

In coaching, we explore what unmasking means at the intersections of identity and justice. I recognize the risks and complexities you may face. My approach is grounded in care, guided by your choices, and centered on respect for your whole story.

You are not alone on this journey.

Unmasking at the Intersections

When your full identity is overlooked, your full truth often remains hidden.

Unmasking is never just about neurodivergence. It is shaped by your culture, race, gender, body, history, and role in your community. For many, masking is a lifelong survival tool, not just a way to fit in.

Some groups face deeper barriers to diagnosis, acceptance, or self-recognition. These challenges reflect how systems ignore or erase your experience, not who you are.

You are not too complex to be supported.

Unmasking is personal, political, and powerful. If your path looks different from others’ expectations, it does not mean you are lost. It means you are creating space where none existed.

I welcome all of you, your intersections, insights, and needs.

BIPOC and culturally marginalized people

Neurodivergent traits are often misread through racial bias, punished, or pathologized

LGBTQIA+ and gender-diverse people

Identity, expression, and sensory experiences may be misinterpreted or blamed on queerness

International and domestic adoptees

Masking may have been a survival strategy from an early age, shaped by attachment, cultural loss, or racial isolation

People with other disabilities or chronic conditions

Neurodivergence may be overshadowed by more visible diagnoses or dismissed as “just anxiety” or “a personality trait”

Caregivers and mothers

Social and emotional labor often hides executive dysfunction and sensory distress

Older adults and elders

Many grew up without language, support, or safety to name their experiences

People in conservative religious or cultural communities

Masking is often demanded to avoid shame, exclusion, or moral judgment

Immigrants, multilinguals, and refugees

Cultural and language differences can complicate both diagnosis and self-recognition

Formerly institutionalized or incarcerated people

Often punished for behavior that was neurodivergent-based, not defiant-based

Those facing poverty or housing instability

Survival needs may take priority over exploration, diagnosis, or access to care

When Visibility Comes With Risk

For many late-identified neurodivergent people, especially those facing systemic injustice, unmasking can be both freeing and risky. Being seen does not always mean being safe. Social pressures teach us to hide distress, perform competence, or stay silent to survive.

You may have learned to show only parts others accept. You might have overachieved, people-pleased, or stayed invisible to get by. When difference is seen as defiance, expressing your true self carries risks.

It helps to find patient, safe people to share with. They may not understand immediately, but your story deserves to be told so others can relate. People who care will appreciate your honesty.

Facing unmasking with context honors your experience within unfair systems and helps you see the full picture. Identifying what shapes your behavior lets you make realistic plans with a better chance of success.

You do not have to do this alone. Another perspective can reveal what is hard to see from inside your experience, especially with overlapping identities and barriers.

If you have ever felt:

Safer hiding your needs than explaining them
Afraid unmasking could be used against you
Pressured to appear “high-functioning” just to be left alone
Judged for breaking unspoken rules you never agreed to
Exhausted from performing safety in unsafe spaces

You are not alone. These are not personal failures. They result from systems not made to support your truth. Here, we name that double bind and speak honestly about it.

You are not broken. The system is.

Coaching rooted in intersectional care that sees your full story.

Unmasking is a personal journey shaped by many parts of your identity and life experience. My coaching combines Acceptance and Commitment Coaching (ACC) with SAFE Unmasking™ processes for a supportive framework focused on safety, choice, and respect. This approach recognizes how social and cultural experiences influence how you live with neurodivergence, what safety means for you, and how you express yourself.

The coaching is trauma-informed and respects your background. It supports you without pressure to change quickly or fit a specific idea of authenticity.

Together, we explore what unmasking means for you at your own pace. The goal is to provide tools and guidance that help you move forward with care and confidence.

You deserve support that understands how your unique experiences shape your journey.

Your Unmasking. Your Terms.

Unmasking is not a performance to meet others’ expectations. It is a deeply personal process of discovering and defining who you truly are.

For many, systems like racism, ableism, and social erasure have taken away the ability to trust yourself or your experience. This work centers your autonomy and helps rebuild that trust.

Your journey will include contradictions, grief, and joy. All of it matters. There is no right way to unmask. You get to decide what freedom means for you.

You do not owe anyone a version of yourself that feels less real. You are allowed to be complicated, shifting, and whole.

It’s Time to Unmask with Compassion and Clarity

If you’re exploring your neurodivergence, navigating unmasking, or learning how to live more authentically you're not alone. The SAFE Unmasking™ processes, combined with Acceptance and Commitment Coaching (ACC), creates a supportive space where you can reconnect with your values, build emotional resilience, and move at a pace that works for you.

1-on-1 coaching is available now and workshops are launching later this summer. Whether you're newly diagnosed or years into your journey, these services are designed with your lived experience in mind.

Book Coaching Sessions Now

more on Intersectional Unmasking

Unmasking doesn’t happen in a vacuum. Context matters.

On 'yes, ampersand,' my Substack, this reflection explores how identity, history, and systemic barriers shape the process of unmasking. Through the story of a friend, an international adoptee without access to diagnosis or support, you'll see how race, adoption, and neurodivergence intersect, and why visibility doesn’t always mean safety.

You'll also find reflection prompts and support grounded in the SAFE Unmasking™ process.

Read Unmasking, Intersectionality, and the Cost of Being Seen.

Disclaimer: Coaching services and materials provided by Mark H. Durgee are for educational and personal growth purposes only and are not a substitute for therapy or medical care. Mark is a professional coach, not a licensed mental health provider. All content is for personal use only and may not be copied, sold, or altered without permission. By using this site, you agree to the terms and to legal jurisdiction under Mexican law. For licensing contact mark@markdurgee.com. If you're in crisis seek local emergency support.

Honoring all journeys, including those without a clear path

Unmasking at the Intersections