WHAT IS SAFE UNMASKING™?
SAFE stands for Self-Awareness, Authenticity, Foundations for Advocacy, and Evolution & Well-Being. Unmasking is more than just stopping a behavior—it’s the ongoing process of rediscovering who you are beneath layers of survival strategies, social conditioning, and pressure to fit in.
SAFE Unmasking™ is a trauma-informed coaching process designed for late-identified neurodivergent adults—especially those navigating life after an autism or ADHD diagnosis. It's not about rushing to “be yourself.” It’s about moving at a pace that feels safe, supported, and meaningful—so you can show up more fully in your life, on your own terms. It meets you where you are and gently guides you through four interconnected phases:
Self-Awareness
Self-Awareness
Self-Awareness
Accepting and honoring your brain, patterns, and past
Authenticity
Self-Awareness
Self-Awareness
Clarifying values and shedding what no longer fits
Foundations
Foundations
Foundations
Creating systems and boundaries that support you
Evolution
Foundations
Foundations
Living well on your terms. Avoid burnout with self-compassion
Autism Unmasking, Neurodiversity Coaching, Late-diagnosed Autism Coaching
WHAT IS ACCEPTANCE & COMMITMENT COACHING?
Evidence-Based, Human-Centered Support Framework
Acceptance and Commitment Coaching (ACC) is an evidence-based, trauma-informed framework designed to help individuals build psychological flexibility—the ability to stay present, unhook from unhelpful thoughts, and take values-aligned action, even in the face of discomfort. Rooted in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), ACC adapts these principles to the coaching context to support meaningful change without the clinical focus of therapy.
For late-diagnosed autistic and ADHD adults, ACC provides a compassionate roadmap to navigate the emotional, cognitive, and identity shifts that often follow a diagnosis or self-discovery.
ACC is grounded in decades of research from the fields of:
- Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) – Steven C. Hayes, PhD
- Relational Frame Theory (RFT) – Functional contextual understanding of language and cognition
- Self-Compassion Theory – Kristin Neff, PhD
- Resilience Theory – Promoting adaptation in the face of adversity
- Goal-Setting Theory & Self-Determination Theory – Motivation driven by autonomy and intrinsic values
By integrating these evidence-based foundations with lived experience and the SAFE Unmasking™, ACC becomes a powerful support for neurodivergent adults ready to unlearn old narratives and create new ones—on their own terms.
Why ACC Works for Neurodivergent Adults
Late-diagnosed neurodivergent adults often face a lifetime of internalized ableism, chronic masking, burnout, and misdiagnosis. ACC helps untangle these experiences by offering:
- Self-Awareness Without Judgment: Learn to observe thoughts and emotions without being overwhelmed or defined by them.
- Emotional Regulation: Build resilience through mindfulness and acceptance, rather than suppression or avoidance.
- Values Clarification: Rediscover what truly matters to you, apart from societal expectations or masking strategies.
- Compassionate Goal Setting: Set sustainable, meaningful goals without falling into perfectionism or productivity traps.
- Identity Integration: Honor your neurodivergence as part of who you are—not something to fix, hide, or manage away.
ACC AND SAFE UNMASKING™ TOGETHER.
An Empowering Path for Late-Diagnosed Neurodivergent Adults
Discovering you're autistic or ADHD later in life can feel like rewriting your entire story. You might be asking: Who am I beneath the mask? How do I live authentically now?
That’s where ACC and the SAFE Unmasking™ process work hand-in-hand—to guide you through unmasking with clarity, compassion, and purpose.
ACC helps you build psychological flexibility—the ability to stay present, make room for difficult thoughts and feelings, and take action based on your values. It’s not about “fixing” yourself, but about showing up fully as you are, with the skills to navigate a world that often wasn’t built with your neurotype in mind.
SAFE Unmasking™ is a neurodivergent-centered method that walks you through four phases of the unmasking journey:
- Self-Awareness – noticing patterns, internalized norms, and where masking shows up
- Authenticity – clarifying your identity and core values
- Foundations for Advocacy – developing boundaries, communication tools, and supports
- Evolution & Well-Being – sustaining a life aligned with who you truly are
Together, ACC and SAFE Unmasking™ offer more than insight—they give you a framework for meaningful, manageable growth. For autistic and ADHD adults who were diagnosed or self-identified later in life, these tools offer:
- Practical strategies for identity exploration without burnout
- Language to understand your lived experience through a neuro-affirming lens
- A structured process that honors your pace—no pressure to “do it all at once”
- Emotional tools to unhook from shame, guilt, or perfectionism
- Values-based guidance to create a sustainable, authentic life
Whether you're just beginning to unmask or have been trying to "figure it all out" on your own, this approach meets you where you are—with science-backed support and a human-first philosophy.
It’s Time to Unmask—with Compassion and Clarity
If you’re exploring your neurodivergence, navigating unmasking, or learning how to live more authentically—you're not alone. The SAFE Unmasking™ process, combined with ACC, creates a supportive space where you can reconnect with your values, build emotional resilience, and move at a pace that works for you.
1-on-1 coaching begins in June 2025, with workshops launching later this summer. Whether you're newly diagnosed or years into your journey, these services are designed with your lived experience in mind.
Coaching is almost here. Until then, explore free guides, follow along on Substack, or reach out with questions.
A five-part series about resilience that went unseen
A Mask They Put On
I was an undiagnosed autistic child with ADHD, shaped by generations of trauma and silence. This is a story of survival—and reclaiming my voice and truth. It’s free to read on Substack, with no sign-up or login required.
Disclaimer: Coaching services and materials provided by Mark H. Durgee are for educational and personal growth purposes only and are not a substitute for therapy or medical care. Mark is a professional coach, not a licensed mental health provider. All content is for personal use only and may not be copied, sold, or altered without permission. By using this site, you agree to the terms and to legal jurisdiction under Mexican law. For licensing contact markdurgee@gmail.com. If you're in crisis seek local emergency support.
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